The Day I Wake

He wraps himself in light as with a garment…He walks upon the wings of the wind.
(Psalm 104)

The day I wake

I find you spoken in a thousand gleams of light

all the material, all the weight

you roll yourself and hide yourself and reveal yourself

and the day I wake I pour myself

like nard, like alabaster, like fire and water and earth and sky, I pour.

Wipe perfume with hair and I will smell like my own offering,

reek of it,

stink with it,

be overpowering, overwhelming like all the

beauty and stain and goodness and sin that I cannot sort and cannot contain

and cannot ransom and cannot redeem

and cannot shatter.

Wear shame like a garment, wear pain like a

battle-earned medal of grit and glory

and Carry On Soldiers, Carry On,

die in this sin-streaked land of war, stand

before the gates to wage the last and final insurrection but

you will all fall, all fall, all fall, all fall, and yes –

The day I wake I first find your pity.

Or maybe your love.

A thousand wind-calls. A boulder of granite slicing open my knees and

grass that pierces

and oh, yes, I see you. Ancient of Days, One Wrapped in Light,

One Who Has Known and Is

all that I didn’t know I was running from and

all that I have been running toward and

all that I have been losing myself into.

Good morning.