“Thou makest darkness, and it is night: wherein all the beasts of the forest do creep forth.” A breakdown was like being bound, blindfolded, and pummeled, then dropped in the middle of a thick, dark wood. I was completely beaten, covered in bruises and still vomiting up bile and blood when the blindfold was ripped […]
I Have A Voice
I wrote following post in October. It seems like it was the key that fit the hole, turned the lock, and opened the door to my breakdown. The words poured out of me in strength: then fear rushed in to the vacancy the words left behind. I can remember every day from the day the […]
Depression
And so the winter passes. We took a sharp turn into spring this week, with the snow and frost giving way to sunny mid-70 days. Donning a tank top, I worked away at the last of the blueberry bushes, and my sun-kissed skin kept me warm all night long. It was a long, dark winter. […]
All My Desire Is Before Thee
O LORD, rebuke me not in Your wrath, And chasten me not in Your burning anger. For Your arrows have sunk deep into me, And Your hand has pressed down on me. There is no soundness in my flesh because of Your indignation; There is no health in my bones because of my sin. For […]
Contrite and Lowly: Sacred Smallness, Real Life Is Now
(post #9) see list of all posts here What does it mean to be contrite and lowly? How can a God who inhabits eternity also inhabit my heart? About 9 months ago I did a word study on Isaiah 57:15, because I was so struck by the description of a God who dwells in “a high and […]
The Things That Make Up A Life (a goodbye to Oklahoma)
3-8-16 It’s been a hard two weeks. We’re moving west and leaving the military, and this whole transition has left me flailing emotionally. I feel as if I am losing touch with what anchors and as though I am flinging about for something to which I might secure. We’ve done a lot of transition in our […]
The Day I Wake
He wraps himself in light as with a garment…He walks upon the wings of the wind. (Psalm 104) The day I wake I find you spoken in a thousand gleams of light all the material, all the weight you roll yourself and hide yourself and reveal yourself and the day I wake I pour myself […]
Transitions, Goodbyes
Goodbyes We’ve been in the preparation stage of exiting the army for about 8 months now, and here we are, finally coming down to the wire. All the decisions, all the prayers, all the worry and peace and questions. But here we are, and there’s no turning back. David has a few months left on […]
You Are Not Alone (survivor songs #34 – final post!)
And we’re done. The inadequacy I felt as I faced the task of writing this series has been – well, not replaced exactly, but joined by a sense of tear-springing surprise. “Who am I?” was the question hanging over my heart as I first put my fingers to the keys. What grief have I known that could qualify me […]
Mourn With Those Who Mourn (survivor songs #33)
Mourn With Those Who Mourn by Ramone Romero “Remember those who are imprisoned, as if you are imprisoned with them. Call those to mind who are afflicted, as if you are the people who wear their bodies.“ Hebrews 13:3 Harmony asked me to share five paintings for this series Survivor Songs, the theme of which has […]
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