“Thou makest darkness, and it is night: wherein all the beasts of the forest do creep forth.” A breakdown was like being bound, blindfolded, and pummeled, then dropped in the middle of a thick, dark wood. I was completely beaten, covered in bruises and still vomiting up bile and blood when the blindfold was ripped […]
I Have A Voice
I wrote following post in October. It seems like it was the key that fit the hole, turned the lock, and opened the door to my breakdown. The words poured out of me in strength: then fear rushed in to the vacancy the words left behind. I can remember every day from the day the […]
To Be A Mother of Daughters
Braiding her hair in the dark felt like taking up a mantle, here I am, playing the mother. Almost a decade of being a mama to daughters, and in my heart I am sometimes still the girl. I fished out nightgowns for dolls, tucking the freshly clad babies up against a three year old’s shoulders, […]
Joy and Delight and A God Who is Better Than I Imagined
Today I’m floored by the preposterousness of God, in daring to invite us into enjoyment, celebration and joy. We are studying Jennie Allen’s book Proven, which, through delving into the gospel of John, is basically aiming straight for the heart with the intention of undoing all the things that hold us together but just aren’t […]
Treating Others With Respect and Trust: Spiritual Boundaries, Part 5
…love always trusts, always hopes… The first evidence of God acting with self-constraint in relationship to us is in the second chapter of Genesis. The story of the Fall teaches us – among many lessons – that God treats us with respect, and does not force or coerce us to come into relationship with him. “All of […]
This Is What Remains (real life is now)
The past several days have been difficult – not in their entirety, but overall. When I started this series, I had a sense of some things that might come our way mid-month and they did. Other unexpected things piggy backed on those, and so for five days we seemed to weather one crisis or challenge […]
The Self-Restraint of God: Spiritual Boundaries Part 4
At the end of the last post I wrote: It makes me feel deeply safe to know that God does not force his love upon me, to know he does not force himself upon me. This is the deepest of all our theologies, to me, this one that says, quite simply, God is love. Love […]
Love Is A Respecter of Persons: Spiritual Boundaries, part 3
(post #13 for the Write 31 Day Challenge) see all posts here Two mornings ago, on the last morning of our retreat, my sister and mama and I were watching the waves. “The ocean waves always make me think of Jesus’ unrelenting love for us,” my mom said. “No matter what, his love just keeps coming, pursuing us, […]
Spiritual Boundaries, Part 2: Real Life is Now
(post #12) writing for a month within the sacred smallness of this very real life: see all posts here Note: this is the second part to a short series-within-a-series on spiritual boundaries. Read introductory story here. I love my charismatic upbringing. The confidence afforded me in my relationship with Christ, the foundational assurance that I am loved, and wanted, and […]
Contrite and Lowly: Sacred Smallness, Real Life Is Now
(post #9) see list of all posts here What does it mean to be contrite and lowly? How can a God who inhabits eternity also inhabit my heart? About 9 months ago I did a word study on Isaiah 57:15, because I was so struck by the description of a God who dwells in “a high and […]
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