In the beginning of my breakdown, I didn’t have capacity for very much input, so my normal stays of writing and reading were set aside. The words I could receive came from people close to me in real time. However, three artist voices broke through the darkness of severe anxiety and depression, bringing peace instead […]
When It All Shakes Out (You Exist)
When it all shakes out, beloved, you will know what is true and what was only pretense, And it will hurt, because there are things you wanted to be true that will never be true, and things you needed to be false, that were never false, and things in the middle that you will discover […]
A Breakdown
“Thou makest darkness, and it is night: wherein all the beasts of the forest do creep forth.” A breakdown was like being bound, blindfolded, and pummeled, then dropped in the middle of a thick, dark wood. I was completely beaten, covered in bruises and still vomiting up bile and blood when the blindfold was ripped […]
Draughts of Eternity
As I write tonight, I am sitting beneath a Strawberry Moon. Blindingly bright, it rises over the low pasture, and up onto the ridge, her beams picking their way through the blueberry rows, bush by bush. I settle into a creaking Adirondack chair – a gift given with memories to keep and memories to create […]
The Incarnation
A republishing of a post from December, 2011, at the request of a friend. Christmas has more sadness woven in the lining now for me than it used to, and I would have written this post differently today than I did 7 Christmases ago. But I’m glad I wrote it then and not now, because […]
Maybe The Answer You’re Praying For Is Already Here.
Sometimes we wait impatiently on God when he is patiently waiting on us, waiting for us to recognize what he’s already given as part of the answer. What little pot of oil have you neglected to notice? What little shred of possibility have you chosen to ignore? What little patch of time have you disparaged? […]
Jesus is working; We can rest
But Jesus answered them, “My Father is working until now, and I am working.” I take a lot of comfort in this verse this morning. There are impossible situations at every turn, messy relationships, messy health, messy politics, messy everything. My heart and mind wake up feeling messy with other people’s strife. My email is messy […]
All My Desire Is Before Thee
O LORD, rebuke me not in Your wrath, And chasten me not in Your burning anger. For Your arrows have sunk deep into me, And Your hand has pressed down on me. There is no soundness in my flesh because of Your indignation; There is no health in my bones because of my sin. For […]
This Is What Remains (real life is now)
The past several days have been difficult – not in their entirety, but overall. When I started this series, I had a sense of some things that might come our way mid-month and they did. Other unexpected things piggy backed on those, and so for five days we seemed to weather one crisis or challenge […]
Love Is A Respecter of Persons: Spiritual Boundaries, part 3
(post #13 for the Write 31 Day Challenge) see all posts here Two mornings ago, on the last morning of our retreat, my sister and mama and I were watching the waves. “The ocean waves always make me think of Jesus’ unrelenting love for us,” my mom said. “No matter what, his love just keeps coming, pursuing us, […]