I spent the afternoon discussing sex trafficking, pornography, and the grocery store’s placement of the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition (at the eye-level of third grade boys).
Sometimes, all the sunshine in the world–all the love, all the joy, and all the hope–seems utterly tucked into shadows.
I’m raising sons in this place, on this planet. I’m raising daughters.
We speak very frankly with our children, my husband and I, and sometimes I wonder if we speak too much. If I hadn’t discussed that glimpse of the Super Bowl half-time show with my son, would he have gaped at the bikini clad models on Target’s wall? Would he have said to me, “Mama, why do they do that? Why do they take pictures of women dressed in clothes that look like underwear and put them where everyone can see?” If I hadn’t brought the subject up, would it even have been on his radar?
“He’s almost nine,” my husband says. “At some point it’s going to be on his radar. Best to start speaking now.”
It’s a tricky thing, this raising children. We want them to be innocent, but we can’t keep them tucked away. We want them to be pure, but we must help muddy their feet. We wish they didn’t have to know half the things we know ourselves, but we’re their introduction to the world, and so we have to speak.
How do you (or did you) speak of these things to your children? How do you (or did you) do sex-ed in your home? In what ways do you (or did you) educate your kids on sexual and cultural issues? Life-long conversations? One Big Conversation? Books? Videos? Please let me know in the comments!
Ongoing conversations…. We are really open at our house and the kids know they can ask us anything. Our dinner table discussions are entirely different now with ages 11.5, 13, & 16 yr olds than they were a few years ago. One of the most difficult things for me is to try and meet each one where they’re at. Our 11 yr old knows so much more than her older sister did at her age. And the 16 yr old says I scared her when I answered her first sex questions. She said I answered with way more information than she was looking for. We just do the best we can with love, grace, ears ready to listen, and pray for wisdom.
That’s what I’m afraid of–saying too much! lol We’ve had on-going, ever-deepening conversations since the beginning, and both David and I are pretty frank (though I think, appropriately so). I don’t want to burden them with knowledge too early, but we do always answer their questions honestly, though usually we leave it to them to ask us for more details. I want to be emphasizing all along the way that in this house we can talk about everything. I think that more important to me than the kids “hearing it first” from us on any topic is that we have an environment where these things can be discussed without shame or embarrassment. Well. There’s always a little embarrassment, but so far it’s the good kind, the kind five year olds get when they see parents kiss, and ten year olds get when they know what these words we say actually MEAN. ALWAYS so good to hear from you, Ang!
First of all, that lizard picture is cracking me up! Perfect!!
As you know, we err on the side of TALKING. Talk talk talk talk!! I’m learning to slow down and get a sense for their speed.
We also love the book (there’s a whole set that scales to age appropriateness) called It’s So Amazing. I just strewed it in with the rest of the library books, and Sophia thought she had discovered it herself! I can’t say enough good things about this book. I need to write a review on it!
Isn’t the picture great?! I’m so glad you said something! It’s one of my favorites. I have a whole series of pics of their little intimate escapade. 😀
Yes, do write the review! I’m really interested. I’ve never really seen a book on the subject that I like.