In the beginning of my breakdown, I didn’t have capacity for very much input, so my normal stays of writing and reading were set aside. The words I could receive came from people close to me in real time. However, three artist voices broke through the darkness of severe anxiety and depression, bringing peace instead […]
When It All Shakes Out (You Exist)
When it all shakes out, beloved, you will know what is true and what was only pretense, And it will hurt, because there are things you wanted to be true that will never be true, and things you needed to be false, that were never false, and things in the middle that you will discover […]
A Breakdown
“Thou makest darkness, and it is night: wherein all the beasts of the forest do creep forth.” A breakdown was like being bound, blindfolded, and pummeled, then dropped in the middle of a thick, dark wood. I was completely beaten, covered in bruises and still vomiting up bile and blood when the blindfold was ripped […]
I Have A Voice
I wrote following post in October. It seems like it was the key that fit the hole, turned the lock, and opened the door to my breakdown. The words poured out of me in strength: then fear rushed in to the vacancy the words left behind. I can remember every day from the day the […]
Depression
And so the winter passes. We took a sharp turn into spring this week, with the snow and frost giving way to sunny mid-70 days. Donning a tank top, I worked away at the last of the blueberry bushes, and my sun-kissed skin kept me warm all night long. It was a long, dark winter. […]
Draughts of Eternity
As I write tonight, I am sitting beneath a Strawberry Moon. Blindingly bright, it rises over the low pasture, and up onto the ridge, her beams picking their way through the blueberry rows, bush by bush. I settle into a creaking Adirondack chair – a gift given with memories to keep and memories to create […]
Moonlit Rambles
Poetry. I wish that I had poetry in me tonight. The moon swells and with it swells my spirit, but it feels like there are no words. The window at the stair landing looks out over the pasture where the full moon rises – we stop there and gaze in silence, and then I tuck […]
The Incarnation
A republishing of a post from December, 2011, at the request of a friend. Christmas has more sadness woven in the lining now for me than it used to, and I would have written this post differently today than I did 7 Christmases ago. But I’m glad I wrote it then and not now, because […]
To Be A Mother of Daughters
Braiding her hair in the dark felt like taking up a mantle, here I am, playing the mother. Almost a decade of being a mama to daughters, and in my heart I am sometimes still the girl. I fished out nightgowns for dolls, tucking the freshly clad babies up against a three year old’s shoulders, […]
Happy Valentine’s Day/Transplant Day
Today is Transplant Day for my family. It’s been a long, hard-fought year for my mom, and it feels surreal to finally be at this place, receiving this gift, stepping into the great unknown. The following is a post I wrote last night for my mom’s Facebook prayer group, and I wanted to copy it here […]
- 1
- 2
- 3
- …
- 10
- Next Page »