On a global and national scale 2020 was incredibly painful, and I feel that keenly. But on a very small personal scale, 2020 was one of the best years of my life. I loved having my children home again and the relationships we deepened, I loved the slow pace of our days, I loved the […]
Books I Read in 2019
In 2019 I decided to do something my sister has done for many years: record the books I read. So I bought a little Moleskine and started jotting down titles each time I finished a book. I was coming out of severe depression and anxiety, and was seeking to rebuild my mind. Reading was a […]
3 Voices That Helped Carry Me Through Anxiety and Depression
In the beginning of my breakdown, I didn’t have capacity for very much input, so my normal stays of writing and reading were set aside. The words I could receive came from people close to me in real time. However, three artist voices broke through the darkness of severe anxiety and depression, bringing peace instead […]
When It All Shakes Out (You Exist)
When it all shakes out, beloved, you will know what is true and what was only pretense, And it will hurt, because there are things you wanted to be true that will never be true, and things you needed to be false, that were never false, and things in the middle that you will discover […]
A Breakdown
“Thou makest darkness, and it is night: wherein all the beasts of the forest do creep forth.” A breakdown was like being bound, blindfolded, and pummeled, then dropped in the middle of a thick, dark wood. I was completely beaten, covered in bruises and still vomiting up bile and blood when the blindfold was ripped […]
I Have A Voice
I wrote following post in October. It seems like it was the key that fit the hole, turned the lock, and opened the door to my breakdown. The words poured out of me in strength: then fear rushed in to the vacancy the words left behind. I can remember every day from the day the […]
Depression
And so the winter passes. We took a sharp turn into spring this week, with the snow and frost giving way to sunny mid-70 days. Donning a tank top, I worked away at the last of the blueberry bushes, and my sun-kissed skin kept me warm all night long. It was a long, dark winter. […]
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